


Drowning

by afromaniiac



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: :))), Drug Use, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Mental Health Issues, Nico di Angelo & Percy Jackson Friendship, Nico di Angelo is a Good Friend, Panic Attacks, Percy Jackson has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Self-Medication, mentions of anxiety and depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-16
Updated: 2020-05-16
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:35:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24223651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/afromaniiac/pseuds/afromaniiac
Summary: Nico couldn’t sleep.He knew he wasn’t the only one with the same problem. However, Percy handled it a lot differently than he did, and it was pretty concerning.
Relationships: Nico di Angelo & Percy Jackson
Comments: 10
Kudos: 158





	Drowning

**Author's Note:**

> I started writing this last night and then I couldn’t stop. Especially since the PJO Disney+ announcement, I knew I wanted more platonic Percy and Nico content.

Sometimes, Nico found himself unable to sleep.

It wasn't as much as before his time at Camp Half Blood. He had a better time with sleeping in his cabin, knowing that for the most part, he would at least have some peace thanks to the protective barrier shielding the camp from harm.

However, there were nights where physical monsters weren't the problem. And this was one of those nights.

Nico sat up with a sigh, reaching to turn the light on his nightstand on. Recently, his dreams weren't too pleasant. Sometimes he'd drift into sleep and find himself in Tartarus again, facing off Otis and Ephialtes. Other times he'd think he woke up but find himself unable to breathe, still stuff in that claustrophobic jar.

Nico's throat felt like it was closing up just at the thought of it. He inhaled, reminding himself that he could breathe. That there was air all around him. Nico could breathe.

Despite that, Nico still felt like the air wasn't reaching his lungs. He pushed the blanket off of him, moving to stand to take another breath. In and out.

The air didn't feel like it was reaching his lungs. He couldn't breathe. _He couldn't breathe._

Nico found himself making a beeline for the cabin door, the room around him starting to spin. He swung the door open and was greeted with a gust of fresh air to the face. He sucked in another breath, the chilly air waking him up. He leaned against the doorway, closing his eyes and letting himself focus on something else. The August breeze, the crickets, the sound of an owl calling in the distance.

He was safe, he was at Camp Half-Blood. He could breathe.

However, there was one thing that was off. A peculiar smell was quickly in the air and Nico opened his eyes, arching an eyebrow as he got another whiff of it. He couldn't help but snort a little when he realized just what it was. No way. There was no way.

Someone was straight up just... smoking weed. The air reeked of it.

Nico chuckled, shaking his head. He couldn't be surprised. The camp consisted mostly of teenagers, of course some of them would have smuggled marijuana in. His eyes scanned the perimeter for any figures. Due to his lineage, he had a better time seeing in the dark than other demigods.

His eyes landed on a certain blue cabin. There was only a little bit of dim light peeking out of the windows of the low, blue building, but it peeked Nico's interest. In the darkness, Nico could make out a figure crouched at the window. Much to Nico's surprise, there was a puff of smoke that started to leak out of the cabin.

Nico frowned, realizing just what he was seeing. If he was seeing things right, and not having one of the strangest dreams of his life... then _Percy Jackson_ was smoking weed.

The same Percy who wrinkled his nose in disgust at the sight of alcohol. The same Percy who spoke up about not ever wanting to be in a state where he was intoxicated, after seeing his abusive stepfather constantly drunk. 

Nico's frown grew. He kicked off of the door frame and slowly closed his cabin door behind him. He ducked down, using the darkness to conceal him from the harpies and quietly made his way to the Poseidon cabin. Just as he was about to knock he hesitated.

He and Percy had a... complicated past, to say the least. Nico spent a good amount of time having mixed feelings for Percy. Admiring him when they first met, absolutely despising him when he told Nico about Bianca's death, not really even knowing how to feel about him when they became not really friends, but acquaintances. Percy was Nico's first crush, before Will Solace had showed up like a giant ray of sunshine.

He didn't have those feelings for Percy anymore, but that didn't mean he didn't still care about him.

Nico found the courage to knock. "Percy?"

There was silence, before Nico heard a muffled _"oh, fuck."_ There was quick, frantic rummaging in the background, confirming Nico's suspicion.

Nico shook his head, sighing. "It's just me, Nico."

There was another awkward silence before the door finally opened just a crack and Percy's head poked out.

"Why in Hera's name are you still awake?"

First thing Nico registered was the way the smell of weed intensified. The second was the way Percy stared at him, bags under his usually lively eyes. His wavy black hair was a mess, tangled and swept to one side of his head. His green eyes were narrowed, somehow still white. However, Nico could see they we're starting to get red.

"Oh my gods, you really are sm—" Nico started.

"Shhh!" Percy hissed, reaching and slapping a hand over Nico's mouth. His green eyes darted from back and forth. "Shut the fuck up. Please shut the fuck up. I'm begging you, man. This is the only thing putting me to sleep recently. _Please_ don't say or do anything."

Nico blinked at him, processing Percy's words. Nico didn't know why he was surprised. He didn't like to, but there had been times where Percy had mentioned some of the things he and Annabeth had seen in Tartarus. The things Percy talked about that day had kept him awake that same exact night.

That, plus every other thing the gods and monsters have thrown his way. Nico didn't understand how Percy managed to still put a smile on his face or joke around.

He knew it was too good to be true. Percy Jackson, the powerful demigod who had survived not one—but two prophecies—was struggling big time. 

Nico rolled his eyes and pried Percy's hand off him. "I'm not gonna say anything."

"Swear it on the Styx," Percy demanded.

Nico sighed, but held his hands up in surrender. "I swear it on the Styx. Can I come in?"

Percy eyed him for a second before taking a step back, opening the door a little wider for him. Nico murmured a quiet thank you and slipped in, ducking under Percy's arm. Percy quickly closed the door behind him.

Nico sat down on one of the empty beds, watching as Percy checked out the window again before closing the blinds. The son of Poseidon let out a sigh of relief before kneeling in front of his nightstand and opening a drawer. He picked up a small, glass object and placed it on the nightstand. Nico's eyebrows raised when he realized it was a bowl.

"So..." Nico spoke after a few minutes of silence. He eyed the bowl, examining the little patterns of blue and green on it. "When did you start... y'know... I thought you hated this stuff.

"Um, probably like two weeks ago," Percy murmured with a shrug, completely focused on digging in his drawers for something else. It wasn't long before Percy was pulling out a small little grinder out of a ziplock bag. "And I hate alcohol. This stuff is different."

"Two weeks ago? That's not pretty long ago," Nico murmured, watching as Percy unscrewed the grinder, revealing weed. Nico wrinkled his nose when the smell of it hit his nose. He didn't know too much about different.

"I, um, got it from one of the Demeter kids," Percy admitted sheepishly. "Mandy Yamazaki."

Nico nodded. His constant conversations with the daughter of Demeter made sense now. Mandy Yamazaki had a very... interesting vibe to her. She was nice, but intimidating. Especially with the septum ring and sickle blades. She reminded him of Thalia. A very, environmentally-friendly Thalia. He heard some rumors about her gardening habits but didn't really care that much, to be completely honest.

Percy grabbed a pinch of what he needed, dropping it into the bowl before he picked up the grinder and screwed it closed, stuffing it back into the bag and putting it back in his drawer.

"...You said you couldn't sleep?" Nico asked.

Percy glanced at him before sighing in defeat. "Yeah, recently trying to sleep has been hell. You know, demigod nightmares and stuff."

Demigod nightmares. Nico knew those too well.

"Same, that's kind of why I'm still awake," Nico muttered, crossing his arms and wishing he brought his jacket with him. His thin long sleeved shirt wasn't doing much to keep him warm with the open window.

Percy hummed in acknowledgement, dark eyebrows furrowed in concentration as he dropped some more marijuana into the bowl. His eyes were growing red and he blinked a few times, like his eyes were dried out.

"...Are you okay?" Nico asked finally. He didn't know if that was the right question to ask, considering the fact Percy clearly wasn't fine. It didn't take a genius to see that.

Percy chuckled, finally looking at Nico in the face. "I'm fine.”

_“Percy.”_

"I am, seriously," Percy insisted, although it sounded like he was trying to convince himself. "Look, we're half-bloods man, okay? This is normal, I'm perfectly fine with this. Not sleeping is normal, watching people I know die is normal, knowing I'm responsible for it is fine—"

Percy faltered, his voice cracking. He grabbed his lighter off the nightstand, dragging his thumb over the wheel. With a chk, the lighter was ignited and Percy was lighting the bowl with shaky hands.

"Percy, you're not fine," Nico said matter of factly. He leaned forward, a frown on his face. "No offense, but you sound far from fine, and that's coming from me. What's wrong?"

Percy scoffed, shaking his head and taking a drag of the drug. He held it in his mouth before he moved to puff it out the window.

"It's gonna sound stupid," Percy muttered after a while.

"No, it won't," Nico murmured, keeping his eyes focused on the other boy. "Trust me, I know stupid. I spent most of my life being obsessed with a card game. I still like the card game."

That managed to get a little huff of laughter out of Percy. He had a tired smile on his face as he lit the marijuana. He sucked in another breath and held it, before letting the smoke pour out of his mouth with a relaxed exhale. Some of the tension in his shoulders from before was gone. "I knew it."

Nico wrinkled his nose at the strong smell but Percy didn't seem to mind it. "That's not the point here, Jackson. Now spill."

Percy's smile faded.

"Sometimes, I... I don't know how to explain it," Percy murmured, his breath still coming out in puffs of smoke due to the cold air from the cracked window. His green eyes were averted, eyeing the burnt contents in the bowl. "I can get through training, I can do capture the flag games, I can get through the day and get through quests and do whatever the fuck I have to do..."

Percy faltered, a look of uncertainty on his face. Nico frowned, sitting forward. "...And?" He asked quietly.

Percy didn't bother looking at him. "...Other days it just..." He took in a shaky breath. "every little thing feels like too much. Sometimes I can't even get out of bed because I'm too scared what might happen next. What the next day might bring or do to me or...the people I care about. Half the time I can't even breathe it's like I'm fucking...."

Nico felt his heart twist. He knew that feeling too well. Despite everything, Percy had good intentions. He always tried his best, always tried to do what he could for the people he cared about. He always did whatever he could to make things better than they were. Percy felt like there was too much he couldn't handle. He was overwhelmed and anxious, and no one seemed to notice.

Seeing someone like him crumble under the pressure hurt Nico in ways he didn't know it could.

"Drowning," Nico offered, his voice quiet.

"Yeah," Percy murmured. His green eyes were bloodshot, the marijuana in his system. He sounded oddly sober when he spoke though. "Like I'm fucking drowning. I can't even drown in water and yet, here I am..."

Percy put the lighter to the bowl and took another, longer hit. "...drowning anyway."

The two of them sat in silence. Percy dropped the bowl onto his nightstand and sat down on the floor, exhaustion painting his features.

"Can I hug you?" Nico blurted.

Percy blinked. "What?"

"I said can I hug you? Answer before I change my mind."

Percy blinked again. "Um, I mean, if you want to—oof—"

Nico surged forward, wrapping his arms around Percy and pulling him into a tight hug. Percy made a small sound of surprise, his arms frozen in the air.

"I know this is probably cheesy, but I get it. I really do. I'm sorry Percy. I'm sorry that things are like this."

"Nico, come on, it's okay," Percy mumbled, lightly trying to push him away. "It's not that big of a deal—"

"No, it is. It took me too long to realize that for myself," Nico stated. Now that he spoke up, he found himself unable to stop. "It took a lot of time from Will and Cecil and Lou Ellen but—your mental health matters too. You're hurting. You can't spend all of your time just looking out for others when you don't feel okay. You can talk to me, or Annabeth, or fuck it, maybe Clovis could help with your nightmares but... you don't have to be alone. You don't. A lot of people care about you, Percy."

Percy was quiet. He took in a shaky breath, his composure crumbling before he was suddenly wrapping his arms around Nico too, burying his face into his shoulder. The son of Poseidon let out a sob, clinging to Nico a little tighter. Nico let him, not caring about the fact he reeked of weed, or the fact Percy's tears were soaking his thin shirt.

"It's okay," Nico murmured, remembering the many times he had cried to Will. He rubbed circles into Percy's back, knowing that's what worked for him when he felt upset. "It'll be okay. It's not gonna be easy, and it's gonna suck big time, but things will be okay."

It took a while for Percy to calm down. When he did, he pulled back, wiping at his eyes with the sleeve of his shirt. "I'm sorry for soaking your shirt," He mumbled.

Nico waved his hand dismissively. "It's okay. I don't care. You've done worse than this during Capture the Flag anyway. I'm immune at this point."

Percy let out a watery laugh. "Yeah, I guess. Thanks, Nico. Who knew it'd be you out of all people giving me advice. You know you hit rock bottom when an emo is giving you good advice."

"Shut up before I decide to feed you to Mrs. O'Leary," Nico said, but he was smiling. Things would be okay.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked this. I tried very hard to keep them both in character while also adding to it. I feel like a lot of people forget just how much Percy went through, and Nico would probably be someone to understand that stuff. the amazing art is done by @macibich!


End file.
